10 ways to guilt-trip your daughter into abstinence

Don't want your daughter to ruin her precious young life with the burden of a child at the age of 15?  No problem!  Pick and choose your favorite method from the following list and she'll be a perfect angel 'til the day she dies.  For a little more kick, feel free to mix and match some of the items as you see fit.

1. Inform her that an early pregnancy will result in getting the boot--no way in hell will you help her raise a child conceived through stupidity.
2. Remind her that getting kicked out of the house means that she'll be living on the streets poor and alone since her man will definitely not want anything to do with her.  
3. Tell her that no man will ever want to marry her if she has sex before marriage.  She's damaged goods.
4. Heavily imply that having sex before marriage makes her a whore.
5. While sighing, let her know that young people should only be studying 24/7.  Love and sex are foolish things to want.
6. Scornfully frown on masturbation.  If you are aware that your daughter pleasures herself, sternly give her that look and tell her "I know what you did last night."  Yeah that's right, you better feel guilty, daughter.  How could you be so disgusting?
7. Using that same look, ask her if she's already had sex.  Keep pressing that topic and make sure to also be on the brink of crying.  That'll definitely make her think twice about her decisions.
8. Constantly remind her that if she has a child, her life is over.  Completely over.  She'll be stuck working a dead-end job at McDonald's for the rest of her life full of regrets.
9. Make her promise OUT LOUD that she will not have sex before marriage while you shakily demand it with tears in your eyes.  Oh yeah, she'll definitely see your face and hear your quivering voice every time she gets closer to having sex.
10. Make sure that you drill these values so deep into her skull, she starts believing that she's a horrible person for ever having sexual desires.

And there you have it!  Go forth and scar your daughters as much as you can, dear parents.  Not only will you frighten the idea of intimacy for her, you will also ruin any chance of her having a real connection with someone for a very long time.  Keep guilting her and you just might be able to have her die a virgin, how wondrous!  Oh wait, grandchildren.  

Attention please!

As I mentioned in my last posts, I'm currently casually seeing someone, whatever that means.  The only words I usually hear people use to describe such a relationship are "nothing too serious".  But what are the boundaries?  Where does "casual" end and "serious" start?

We're all familiar with the term "honeymoon phase" when we talk about a new couple that just can't get enough of each other but can you have such a thing when you're in something casual?  I don't think so.  To my understanding, something that isn't very serious (especially something where you aren't exclusive with each other) implies that you don't foresee a future together and you really couldn't care less when your next date is going to take place.  Sure, you may see yourself seeing this person at least one more time in the near future, but what about in a few months' time?  Can you really plan that far ahead with your not-so-significant other?  One thing's for sure, you guys definitely aren't talking about "staying together forever and ever and ever".

Being emotionally demanding, I require constant care.  Okay, maybe not constant care, but it'd be nice to be able to talk to that special someone at least once a day, even if it's just to wish each other a friendly "Good morning!"  But then again, isn't that a little too...couple-y?  Where do we draw the line?  How clingy can I get without making myself look so love-crazed that I'll scare someone off?  Does telling someone I miss them make me sound like some sort of Overly Attached Girlfriend?

I'll admit, I don't really have much of a life.  My days consist of lying around on my bed and chatting with my friends on Facebook.  I occasionally watch TV shows and sometimes, if I'm in a really good zone, I whip out my sketchbook and doodle something that'll hopefully turn out half-decent.  I could use a good distraction like, oh, say, a chatty guy.  Good conversation is so hard to come by in terms of dating, I've found.  I keep finding guys who "are not one to start conversations" or who "don't like to text".  Goddammit people, TALK TO ME.

Having someone look at your texts/snaps/facebook messages and not acknowledging them makes you feel so inadequate or worthless.  I would understand if I said something like "lol" and you didn't say anything back, I mean, what are you even supposed to send back?  Sure, you can send me back a smiley face, but you can also just ignore that "lol".  That is totally fine with me.  But if I ask you something or I tell you something super sweet, I'd at least like an answer or an "Awww thank you" back!  I put a lot of thought into that message, you stupid butt.

Keep me stimulated, keep my mind running, and you'll keep me.  If all I'm getting from you is silence, you can expect silence back.  Okay maybe not much silence.  I'll probably try and prod you for some conversation but I promise you, my friends are not going to be happy with all the backstage whining.  (I'm sorry, I love you guys)

I feel like casual dating is just basically a term used for a dating arrangement that says "I would like to have fun with you but I don't want to have any responsibilities or commitments"...which sucks!  I would love to be taken care of or told that someone only has eyes for me.  I totally want someone who'll cheer me up when I'm feeling sad or when I've had a nightmare and I can't seem to make sense of reality.

I want someone to start a conversation with me because they miss my voice...because I definitely miss theirs.

Are my desires too far-fetched?

Being a dreamer, I've never stopped fantasizing about the perfect relationship with the perfect guy that would sweep me off my feet and who would eventually propose to me in the most romantic way I could ever hope for.  I guess you could say that the guys I've dated had pretty big shoes to fill and, well, they had a little bit of trouble doing that.  Oh but don't get me wrong, they would do a rather good job at trying but there hasn't been one guy that has delivered the full package.  Perhaps I'm asking for too much...or perhaps I just haven't met THE one just yet.  Only time will tell.

First and foremost, I'll provide a TL;DR legend here to remind you of the guys that I have been with along with their given nicknames:

1. No-Flowers: My first boyfriend.  We were a cutesy couple and everything was always endearingly silly.
2. Pseudo-Prince: My second boyfriend.  My would-be fairy tale relationship complete with shortness of breath and tormenting butterflies.
3. Maxi-Man: The sweetest guy I have ever met who willingly went out and bought me pads when that time of the month rolled around while I was hanging out at his place.
4. Dat-Bod-Doe: The sexiest, most beautiful guy I have ever dated.  Gorgeous blue eyes?  Check. Rock hard abs?  Double Check.  The cutest and tightest ass I have ever grabbed?  Oh yeah, definitely check.
5. !!!BONUS HIDDEN BOYTOY!!! Banter-Buddy: Okay, I've never actually dated this guy but he's a little relevant.  We basically talked for hours on end about anything and really clicked well together.  We were supposed to have a "casual date" but that never happened.  Oh well.

I'll start with the qualities my significant others have provided and move on to my super glam-glam dreams.

Silly and Steamy

My dream relationship included someone who would tell me that they loved me in silly voices and who would add on to the silliness that I brought to the table.  For example, if I were to playfully lick his cheek, I would want my S/O to either playfully attack me VIA kisses and/or licking back OR chuckle and proceed to kiss me passionately because he loves me so much.  The latter response is, of course, not really categorized under "silly" but rather "Omg this gets my loins burning".  

No-Flowers provided that childish silliness that made me laugh until my cheeks started hurting and Dat-Bod-Doe definitely provided the sultry, passionate response.  Sometimes, Dat-Bod-Doe would give me a soft peck right back, leaving me wide-eyed and feeling giddy.  I tell you, there's just something about getting a soft peck on the tip of your nose that makes you feel like one of those adorable red pandas that can't stop being cute for the life of them.

Travel

I would go to the ends of the Earth for the one I love, so naturally I would want someone to do the same for me.  I do unto you what I would like done unto me.  If I travel for 40min to go see you, I would expect you to willingly do the same for me, it wouldn't be fair otherwise.  Thankfully, all my love interests have willingly (or at least, expressed the will) to travel just as much as I have.

In particular, Pseudo-Prince would drive large distances to see me or to pick me up and bring me back to his place.  This sweetheart really impressed me even though his speeding had terrified me during our rides together.

Music

Why yes, my taste in music could be described as rather girly but I wouldn't mind a guy who loved listening to the same type of melodies as I did.  And even if he didn't like some of my stuff, maybe he could introduce me to a new kickass genre that I didn't know I was missing out on. 

No-flowers was able to tolerate and see why I would like some of the songs on my iPod, which was cool.  However, Pseudo-Prince really stepped up the game.  Not only did he appreciate and love all my nostalgic songs on my iPod, he also appreciated a certain boy band I can't get enough of.  As an added bonus, he introduced me to liquid dubstep and I fell in love with it alongside melodic dubstep.  I'm actually listening to Spirals (ft. King Deco) by Sound Remedy and Illenium as I type this blog post.  I never thought I'd like dubstep and I never even knew there were subgenres of dubstep!  This is definitely my jam.

Compliments

I can get insecure about my weight (yeah, who didn't see that coming?) and it's nice to hear that the person you find absolutely drop-dead sexy also thinks that you're smoking hot.  Or sometimes when I doll myself up and I absolutely know that I look fabulous, it's fantastic to be complimented on how gorgeous I am.  There's no harm in inflating my ego a little bit, dear s/o.  If anything, in doing so, you'll make me twirl in happiness and hug you so tightly, you'll never forget that I love you so much.  Uh oops, I just dropped the three little words.  Are we moving too fast?  My bad.

I remember always wanting to be complimented as "sexy" and "hot" since all I ever get is "adorable" and "cute".  As a newly 20-year-old girl--oh god, wait, I'm a woman--I would like to be seen as a sexy female once in a while!

Mr. Maxi-Pads would sometimes just smile randomly during our skype calls and every time I would ask, "What?" he would respond with, "Nothing, you're just so pretty." or "Your smile is just amazing." Aahh Maxi-Pads, you can sure get my heartstrings a-tugging.  

Dat-Bod-Doe would comment on how sexy my body was or how hot I looked.  I must say, he made me feel very good about myself.  He would also make little comments on how cute I looked in my dresses which would also reassure me that he wasn't only seeing me for my body.  He genuinely thought I was adorable and my little quirks and antics amused him.  Wait, do I sound like a weird pet now?  Ah, he also called me beautiful for the first time ever the other day, which is hella great.

Conversation

Alright, here's where Banter-Buddy comes into the picture.  Now, you're going to judge me for saying this but bear with me: I met him on Tinder.  Yes, yes, it's a hookup app, blah, blah, blah.  I was just having a bit of fun swiping around and talking to people, is that such a crime?  Anyway, we matched and totally hit it off.  He was looking for an "adult" relationship if you catch my drift (if you don't, replace "adult" with "xxx", no surprise there) and I wasn't looking for anything like that in the least.  In fact, I wasn't looking for anything except maybe temporary company to waste away my boring night.  

Banter-Buddy and I ended up chatting for hours and hours on end (I'd say for about 6 or 8) about anything and everything.  It was truly amazing how there wasn't a single moment of silence between the both of us.  It's unfortunate that I never ended up dating him since we had a great dynamic between the both of us.  He told me that I was basically the female-version of him and how I was everything he had ever wanted in a girl.  Unfortunately, since he wasn't looking for anything serious, we couldn't really start anything.  That was cool with me.  

My dream relationship pretty much includes endless conversations with my man and that dynamic I had dreamed of was provided by the one guy I didn't date.  Great.  (Well, Pseudo-Prince and I had a similar dynamic when we first started dating, but then that died out since he wasn't very fond of chatting online.)

Treats

It's a great feeling when someone pays for your lunch/dinner and before you start calling me a gold digger, I'll have you know that I would gladly return the favor on another date.  I don't mind going Dutch on dates, but on a first date?  Please show me you want to treat me.  It just makes me feel like you want to take care of me.  Plus, I did bake you a bunch of goodies before this dinner rolled around and last I checked, ingredients and electricity aren't free, buster.

Both Pseudo-Prince and Maxi-Man had treated me to dinner and they each spent quite a bit of money on me.  I know mentioning money is quite shallow but even if it's being treated just on that first date, I'd be satisfied.  I've treated my significant others to lunch and dinner and on top of doing all that, I also put in a lot of time and effort into baking them things that they would love to eat.  It's a great reciprocal relationship and I hate feeling like I put in all this effort for someone who won't even want to pay for both our bills as a grand romantic gesture.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My ultimate wants, needs, and desires

I am a simple girl who is very easily pleased by the smallest things.  Once, I donned a smile the entire day simply because I had used a fantastic pink, ultra fluffy towel that day after taking an amazing hot shower.  What can I say?  It was a pretty perfect forty minutes of my life.

I would love a guy who exudes and carries out all the qualities I mentioned above and also has surprises in store for me.

Flowers and Surprises

In my relationship with No-Flowers and Pseudo-Prince, I would constantly surprise them with little gifts (whether they'd be food or trinkets or something I programmed) just to see them smile.  However, I never received any surprises back no matter how much I prodded.  I remember nagging No-Flowers about surprises and he promised me that he had something grand in store for me....only to admit to me months later that he had completely forgotten about it and didn't have anything planned.  I even asked him to get me flowers and he would promise he would....but never did.  Yes, flowers can be expensive, but you know what?  Flowers do grow in nature.  Things that grow in nature are pretty...oh...what's the word?  FREE.

I adore flowers, they're beautiful and they brighten up my mood but the idea behind the whole surprise-flower-gift is very symbolic to me.  By picking that flower from the ground and handing it to me, you're telling me "I saw this and thought of you.  I picked this because I knew you would love it and I want to see you happy."

I want someone who thinks of me as much as I think about them.  Wherever I go, they're always on my mind.  I'm always thinking, "What can I do to make them smile?  What would make them just a little more happy than usual?"  It's soul-crushing when no one puts in that little bit of extra effort to see you smile just a little wider.

My materialistic needs have much more depth to them than me being greedy.  You can argue that this is all the media's doing and they're only trying to encourage consumerism to fill their pockets with money and I can see that.  I see what you mean but I can't help but see gifts as acts of love because they require thought.  I'm a huge fan of DIY projects and if my guy decides to make me something special, especially something I need, I would be floored.

Mind you, I'm not saying that I want someone to give me something every time we see each other or every other week, that would be ridiculous and way too expensive.  Tiny gestures scattered here and there keep things fun and exciting.

Even surprise visits at work are really sweet.  I always try to surprise my significant others with baked goods and surprise visits at work because the look of complete shock and love is totally worth all that effort.  I remember one of the teachers at my school had a boyfriend surprise her on Valentine's Day--he had brought her flowers and asked her if she wanted to be his Valentine over the intercom.  It was all so sweet and endearing, she couldn't stop blushing.

The little dreamer in me can only hope that someday my Prince Charming will be thoughtful, understanding, loving, giving, and perhaps other qualities I have yet to discover I need.  Too far-fetched?  Maybe.

...But if I can do all that for you, so can you.

Is dating really a game?

I don't understand casual dating.

A bit of background on my past relationships:

I had my first boyfriend (let's call him No-Flowers since, despite many obvious hints, he never gifted one to me) about a month before I turned 18 and we lasted for almost a year and a half together.  We never went on casual dates before making ourselves "official" since we first started out as friends.  Basically, after we both confessed our feelings for each other, we had immediately become a couple without any of that confusing "Are we exclusive?" and "Are we official?" mumbo jumbo.  

As great as things were, we had to unfortunately break it off and go our separate ways.  No hard feelings, No-Flowers.

7 months later, I met someone new who made me feel like I was living in a fairy tale, therefore let's refer to him as Pseudo-Prince.  Our encounter, the butterflies he gave me, his sweet words, everything just made me float on cloud 9.  It was perfect.  We hit it off when we met and continued hitting it off when we spoke online, chatting for hours on end.  

Since we hadn't started out as friends, I figured I had to conform to certain unspoken rules about dating.  Now, mind you, I had no idea how to date, I was just following what I had picked up on by sheer observation of my friends and the media.  I had absorbed all this information from the TV shows I had watched and numerous online articles I had read for fun and tried to apply all of it to my own life.

I knew that asking if we were exclusive and asking to be official too early into the dating game could scare people off.  ...But how could I keep all these questions and wants to myself for the next few dates when I had a burning need to claim this amazing guy as my own right from the get-go?  

Long story short, I ended up (smoothly) asking if we were exclusive about 3 dates in or something (I may be aware of the rules but that doesn't mean I'm able to control my urges) and to my surprise, Pseudo-Prince actually told me, "I thought you already knew what we were." I basically started a relationship without even knowing I had entered one.  This second relationship definitely did not include any casual dating at all.

As fine and dandy as that second relationship was, it had to end.  Needless to say, I was devastated and a huge wreck.  

Fast forward to when I finally collected myself and pulled myself together.

Casual Dating

Part 1

I met someone really sweet who told me I looked pretty every time we saw each other.  He paid for my dinner and treated me like a princess, which included buying me sanitary pads when I unfortunately got my period at his place.  With that in mind, let's call this guy Maxi-Man.  My time with Maxi-Man was cherished but I still couldn't shake off my urges to ask if we were exclusive.  

If you like someone and share intimate moments with them (even if it's just kissing), I would think that you'd want to be exclusive with them.  At least, for me, if I had a crush on someone, there would only be that one person who would make my heart beat faster.  

This was different.  I finally learned what it meant to be unsure about someone and unsure about what you wanted with someone.  Did this mean I didn't really like them?  Maybe.  I knew I enjoyed this new guy's company but I couldn't see so far into the future and decide whether I wanted to spend Christmas with him.  Still, my "traditional" values would overpower my new-found insights and I was preparing myself to jump into a potentially serious relationship with Maxi-Man.

He had already arranged to go away for the summer to work as a camp counselor in another country before meeting me and as much as he didn't want to leave, he did.  Before doing so, I had "the talk" with him and asked him if we were exclusive.  He told me that since he was going away, asking to be exclusive wouldn't be fair to me but he wasn't planning on looking for someone while he was away.  That made me feel better.  However, when I asked what we were and what he referred to me as, he informed me that "we [were] a couple of dates away from [him] calling [me his] girlfriend." 

So that was that.  I had a taste of what casual dating was with the perks of someone treating me like his girlfriend except that I wasn't his girlfriend.  It's all a little confusing.  

Part 2

Now I'm currently experiencing something that I can only describe as the most casual kind of dating I have yet encountered but bonus: he is hella fine.  Let's call this fourth guy Dat-Bod-Doe because he is definitely a sight to see.

My thoughts are all over the place about this "relationship".  What do you even call what you have with someone who isn't your boyfriend?  Can you even say you're seeing someone?  Is that term even "too exclusive" for the two of you to share?  I'm so confused.

We've been on 4 dates within the last two-ish months since his schedule is pretty busy and we hardly talk online.  Scratch that, we don't talk.  I don't even think we've ever had an intellectual conversation together online.  We may have had a couple of small conversations in person in-between our make-out sessions but if I'm going to be completely honest here, I'm going to have to admit that our "relationship" is pretty much purely physical.  I don't know what he thinks of me and I don't think he has any sort of emotional attachment to me.  

It's so hard to tell if Dat-Bod-Doe really likes me or if he's really just the type of person to not show it as much.  He tells me he's not one to start conversations and that he's not much of a talker...but I mean...I don't think I can stand that.  I need to be stimulated and talked to.  I really wonder if we'd talk more if we were in a serious relationship later in the future.  

He looks at me lovingly, holds my hand, and tells me how attractive I am.  He's letting me take our physical "relationship" at my own pace (spoiler alert: I'm a virgin!) and is very understanding with me.  His friends know about me, so that's a good thing, I think.  

I love baking him things and complimenting him with the cheesiest lines ever.  I like the way he holds me and I like how calm and peaceful things feel when we cuddle.  I also like how he talks about future outings.  At least I know he still plans to see me in the near future, so I've got that going for me.

It's crazy to think that since you're not exclusive with someone, that someone could be sharing the same things with someone else and these thoughts could be swarming that someone else's mind as well.  

It's crazy to know that even though you're thinking about someone all the time, that same someone doesn't like you as much as you do them.

Casual dating really isn't for me, I get too attached too easily, too soon, and too much.
(But stupid little me is going to stick with what I have for now because why listen to common sense and rationale when you can get some)