An update

Yeah I stopped talking to that guy who's still in love with that girl for obvious reasons.

Speaking of people who are still in love with other people....guess who messaged me today out of the blue. Just take a wild, wild guess.

Did you guess Pseudo-Prince? I bet you didn't.

Mhm. That's right. Pseudo-Prince messaged me today telling me that he had "written a speech for [me] and [he] would like to express it in person".

Hm.
HMMMMM.
HHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Now, of course, I don't ACTUALLY think he's still "in love" with me since he probably never really loved me in the first place despite the fact that he repeatedly told me he did when we used to date.

I thought he forgot about me. I didn't think he would even remember our time together.

You know what's great? I'm not fazed. I'm not confused, nor am I hoping or wishing that we get back together.

When I read his message, instead of feeling pangs of pain in my heart, my eyebrows just furrowed and I couldn't stop squinting in disbelief.

What does he want? Does he want to apologize for ending things so abruptly? Does he want to ask to get back together?

Well, since it's a "speech", I'm sure there's a "sorry" there somewhere.

...or maybe he wrote me a lecture on why we didn't work out and he feels like he should voice his opinions on how needy I am.

This is really all speculation and I'm trying to think of every possible thing he could ever have written.

I don't care about him anymore and I know that he's ruined a good portion of men for me. (whenever I meet someone who reminds me of him, I grind my teeth and mentally say NEXT)

I'm a really curious person and I'm not sure if I'm curious enough to find out what he has to say.

I feel like I'm in such a good place and that I've moved on so much/well that if he tries to say nice things and asks for me to take him back, I would be able to stand my ground and give him a firm no.

I didn't deserve to be ignored for hours and days.
I didn't deserve to be miserable.
I didn't deserve to think that I was crazy.
I didn't deserve the treatment that I got and the thoughts that came with it.

I don't want to ever date him again and just because I would really love to have a boyfriend right now, I won't succumb to or give in to this urge.

I would rather be lonely than risk being hurt like that again. I couldn't leave my bed for an entire month because of him.

I can't put myself through that again no matter how much of a fairytale the short time we spent together had felt.

Would listening to his speech and then giving him a 'no' feel really great? I mean, I'm not doing it for closure since I have it, I think. I guess you could call it payback.

Is that too evil? Wanting to make him feel rejected? Hm.

I mean, I really don't care. I feel like I can survive if I just completely ignore his message and we just never talk ever again.

But I am curious to know what kind of speech it is.

Hm.

Decisions, decisions.